Food Service People (Again)

Italian Restaurant

Her: can i take your drink order?

Me: yes, a cup of coffee please.

Her: Sweet & Low, right?

Me: What?!?! Nooo! You think I'm a Sweet & Low guy?!?! Rude! I will have sugar....a big bowl of sugar!


Airplane, American Airlines

Him: Do you want something to drink?

Me: Yes, do you have Coke Zero?

Him: (blank stare...followed by puzzled look....then shields go up as if I'm playing a trick on him...then the smart response): How about a Scwepps Gingerale?

Me: (I don't get it...followed by silence...followed by a stare-off...time elapses...) So, you don't have it? Then an OJ.

Him: (now with attitude) Are you sure?

Read Between the Lines

Guess the hidden meaning of this quote:

"John, you must to drink your coffee to keep your charming."

- Honduran staff woman to me at the airport on my last day.

Observations of a Trip 2

1. A large coffee in Honduras is about as big as a sippy cup.

2. Ordering a Diet Coke in Central America is not the most masculine thing I can do -- so I'm told.

3. I signed 50 certificates with my 'quick signature'. Someone pointed out that it looked like a child holding a pen incorrectly wrote it.

4. How fun do you think this game is? Guess where John’s name is from. Them: Russian? German? Me: No, it’s Polish. Them: Oooh, you are Polacco. (forced smile)

5. Someone told me today they will never forget my name because of the movie Monsters Inc. Who can explain this reference??

6. If you are passenger in car here, you will feel fear at some point from the stop sign you just ran through or the car that nearly hit you. But do not complain or state this feeling or you will incite the anger of the driver, which is a worse fate.

Observations of a Trip

Day 2 into my trip to Honduras:

1. American mission teams should NOT wear matching t-shirts with a list of Central America countries they've 'reached' before. Tacky.

2. I've written my birth date on at least five documents...who needs to know this information??

3. When people hear my last name, sometimes they refer to me as Mr. John.

4. 'What do you think on my jefe (boss)?" --sometimes people ask a group of people questions about me with me standing right there.

5. In general, my friends here would rather eat at Tony Roma's: The Place for Ribs.

6. You know that game, Simon sez? Here, it's called "Juan sez." seriously. someone thought it would be cute if i played juan with a group of 50 teachers. i made them do jumping jacks.

7. Sometimes when I am in a group of people, my translator will declare aloud, "Juan will practice his Spanish now.