Subway

Subway girl: oh my god...you look just like that guy...

Me: hmm...what guy?

Subway girl: That guy from that show on Showtime...what's the name of it?...

Me: uh... I don't know...I-I don't have Showtime...

Subway girl: DEXTER! That's it...have you seen Dexter?....

Me: Nope.

Subway girl: ...he's a crime scene investigator guy......but he's a serial killer too.

Me: (are you kidding me right now???)

International Insult

On the phone with my coordinator from Honduras:

Her: May you bring 70 JESUS film dvd's with you when you come.

Me: Yes because I am just your humble servant.

Her: Yes you are...but I don't know about the humble part.

Me: (audibly annoyed)

Her: (laughter)