Dinner Discussions

I went to dinner at a close friend's house tonight and lo and behold I was sitting at the table with five women. No problem... until they started talking girl talk. Lucky for me, they soon forgot I was there. Thank goodness I had my Blackberry.

Topics discussed at dinner:

• Hot Flashes (I did open windows during this topic.)
• Some men being idiots (look down, John, look down)
• The Ex
  
• Deep conditioning hair treatments --and the ensuing debate: will this make my hair flat or fluffy?
• Balding women (plus confessions on said topic from women at the table.)
• Thin hair vs. thick Hair
  

• Finally, 19 year old punk kids who have no job and no responsibility and who live off their mom and give them TEA for CHRISTMAS!!#$
  

I Spent Hours Making My Nephew a Christmas Present

Guess which one he thinks is the present?

Airport Security?

Two airport security people searching through my bag with me right there:

To me: "Do NOT touch the bag at anytime sir."

To each other while pulling out my Christmas gifts: "It would take alot of skill to hurt someone with this." "Is it heavy?" "I don't know." [while picking up item] "Oh that's heavy."

To me: "Sir, you have good taste."

Me: ??

Southern Christmas

Every year, like most people, we have an office Christmas Party -- only ours has Southern fare and is known as the Fat Fest...I think that has to do with the biscuits and gravy and the bacon slabs...it's not a reference to anything else (Brent).

Even the 'Give Other People Your Garbage' exchange was Country. The most popular gift was a medium sized box of odorless hotel soap. There was also a used exercise ball, a full set of Save Your Marriage VHS tapes (unopened), and I had the pleasure of taking home some used dishes wrapped in cloth diapers that came in a box that said 'give away'.

Office Pet Peeves

Do you ever just want to get some things off your chest. I'm there...my pet peeves:

1. When people contaminate M&M bags by thrusting their hands in there, swirling it around, and pulling out 5 M&M's. Note to you: Pour it out.

2. When people resolve conflict by not speaking. Note to you: It doesn't work.

3. Name Tags required at work. Note to you: This is not security or even the illusion of security. I have enough things to think about.

4. Tech people who put down Macs. Note to you: Shut it.

5. Taking away my land line because it's expensive. Note to you: I use that phone. Alot. Save your money on M&M bags.

Have I Not Evolved At All?!?

My ad in our company newsletter this week:

LOST BLACKBERRY

If you found a Blackberry 8800, could you please call the Security office (x6219) or call x1282 right away. I’m going through withdrawal!


Comment a friend I worked with 8 years ago left on my Facebook wall:

What happened to your phone? Let me guess, you left it in a cab in NY? You always had a way with phones. Good to see things haven't changed too much :)

Moms: This Isn't Cute.

Boy, Russia

Some Topics Discussed at Staff Meeting Today

(Not all these items made it to the Staff Meeting Notes Doc.)

Babies (anyone who knows someone who had a baby recently talked about it) (also the weight of babies was discussed)

My Big Toe (I hurt it and someone asked to see what color it was... So I showed them.)

Health issues (If you had or have a health issue, or you had surgery or you know someone who threw up, we talked about it.)

Our new espresso machine (We inherited one and no one knows how to use it.)

People's Kids (kids who are pregnant and kids who were pregnant)

My phone I lost it :(

What can I say? We're not just a 9-5 team here. We prayed for all these things.