The Golden Calf

Back before the beginning of time, there was a mustard yellow-colored Campus Crusade manual affectionately known as the 'The Golden Calf'. In it, staff members could read detailed instructions on life and ministry. Here's an excerpt:

Stand gracefully (or as I call it, 'How to Stand'):

1. Have no more than six inches between feet.

2. Stand so that the toe joint of the back foot is even with the heel of the front foot.

3. Put more body weight on the back foot than the front foot.

4. Place the back foot at an angle -- heel in, toe out. Place the front foot so that it faces straight ahead.

5. If your legs are heavy, put your front leg directly in front of your back leg. Turn the toe of the front leg slightly -- about an inch--away from the center of the body.